The hashtag Transformation Tuesday (#TransformationTuesday) is a popular trend on social media – commonly used in the health and wellness world, where people post a ‘before’ and ‘after’ picture of their weight loss or fitness journey.
While I am all for the support and encouragement of health and wellness, what if we decided to share stories of the transformation within our minds and hearts?
The first Tuesday of every month will serve as #TransformationTuesday, where a special guest will share his or her story of being transformed through God!
“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” Psalm 51:10
Since I’ve decided to do this, many things have come to mind of how God has transformed me. I also realized he is in the middle of transforming me and will continue to do His work in me. As I recalled many things, I see what a mess I am. I am His work in progress, and now my God gets all the glory for who I am today. Today I am a 43 year old woman, I am a mother of 3, a wife to a wonderful man, and a grandmother to two beautiful babies. I would love to say because of how blessed I am to have such a big loving family that my days are filled with joy, laughter, and peace, and most of the time they are, but like I said, I am a work in progress and sometimes life is just hard.
We live in a fallen, broken, sinful world. Some days I feel as if I battle through this journey called life as the woman who has to go through the fire for the future generations in my family. I am Angela Hopf and I haven’t always given my life to God. Looking back at who I was, I was surviving. “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction” (Proverbs 1:7). I was a fool; a broken, hurt young girl who survived by filling my life with my own selfish desires.
My parents divorced when I was 12 years old. These first years of my life were filled with fear, worry, physical and mental abuse. By the age of 14 I was placed in a foster home. So, now on top of everything else, dealing with issues of rejection and abandonment consumed my adolescence. At this time in my life, when just being a teenage girl has enough of its own issues, I felt unworthy of love, while concealing guilt and shame. The enemy was having the time of his life with my mind. “We are destroying speculations and even lofty things raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5). I have just learned in these past ten years how to really battle the mind. The family that took me in were Christians. Looking back I could see that was God, but at the time, I could only feel all of the thoughts that were consuming me.
My self-image was low as you can imagine. I was barely 100 pounds and thought I was fat. I believe that was the heaviness of all the damage and lies. So, I ended up with an eating disorder and became sicker. Oddly, this was the first time in my life I felt in control. I loved it. I was able to overcome my eating disorder after a year of intense therapy, followed by many years of slip ups. The next thing I moved on to was sex. I never let myself love or care about a guy. Sex was all I wanted. I used my power of being a woman for my own evil desires. This is just another example of how deeply wounded I was and how my thought process was so distorted. Today I teach my daughters about purity and worth. “Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God” (Matthew 5:8).
You see, I was missing God in my life, trying so hard to fill that void with many things. I also dabbled in witchcraft. A spirit, I know, the Lord broke off of me and the generations ahead. “He brought them out of darkness, the utter darkness, and broke away their chains” (Psalms 107:14). But why would I try God? My walls were high and I wanted nothing to do with love, and God is love. He wanted to wipe my tears and show me what He had planned for me. For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11). The Lord removed me from my family to protect me. To show me what a Godly family would look like because God Knew I was going to be a mother and a wife one day. I needed that foster home. It took me many years to thank God for that home.
I had my first baby when I was 20. In my son, was the first time I felt true love through all my brokenness. I loved him the best I knew how. Daniel is now 22 years old, and over the span of his life I have learned how to forgive myself for not giving him the life he deserved because I only began to grow and change as he grew and matured. I was so happy to have a baby who needed me and loved me. I didn’t realize he needed me to be strong and guide him and teach him about the Lord. I was still only “surviving” but now with another life to be responsible for. Daniel is now on his own journey and I know, and I claim in the name of Jesus, He will be living his life for God one day and not of the world like I was. “For the Lord your God is He who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies, to give you the victory” (Deuteronomy 20:4).
Today I am an overcomer! Today I am a mother who guides her children to know the Lord and teaches them how to battle the lies of the enemy. I show them their worth through God’s eyes. Today I know the love of a man. My marriage is a gift from God. It’s not perfect, and no marriage is, but with God in the center, it’s pretty close. But most of all, today I know the love of God. I know when any adversity comes my way my God will never leave me nor forsake me. I know I am set free from the lies of the devil and above all, I am forgiven. I am the apple of His eye, so whom shall I fear!? I am transformed by the blood of the Lamb and until He calls me home my God will continue to transform me. I make myself available to Him to leave a legacy of generations of believers long after I’m gone. Today, I don’t just survive; I live!
( John 10:10) The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I come that they may have life and have it abundantly.
Interested in sharing your experience for a future #TransformationTuesday? Click here to connect – I would love to hear from you!